Yes, Your Entire Life is Graded on A Curve

Teachers who say they don’t grade on a curve are lying!

Everything we do in life is relative; measured against the performance of others or against existing expectations, (which are based on the previous performance of others).

Today, as I gave feedback to business students on their assignments, a few of the students were searching for a glimpse of the least  impressive plan to compare to their own.  Their quest to seek comfort in being the second worst surprised me.

If someone told you that you were a little less unattractive than the ugliest person they had ever seen or that you were not quite as rude as the most horrible person they ever met, I am sure you wouldn’t take it as a compliment!  Why is it okay to tell yourself the same kind of things, that almost being the worst is good enough for you?

Do you strive to set the standard?  Are you always pushing to raise the bar or do you try to see how little effort you can get away with exerting?

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You say it’s your birthday?

Here in the Netherlands, you do say it’s your birthday.  It is expected.  You don’t wait around to see if anyone remembers.  In this egalitarian society, everyone gets their day and they bring their own cakes into the office and throw parties for themselves EVERY YEAR, so there is no chance anyone is forgotten.  The Dutch never outgrow birthday parties,  skip the celebration or space it out to only celebrating the landmark big 0s 30,40,50…as is the custom in the US.

Another interesting thing to note is that a birthday party invitation trumps all other obligations.  There is almost no way out!  How much fun it must be to throw a surprise party for a Dutch person!  It would always be easy and they would always be shocked, because of course they would have also already planned their own party.

Today is in fact my birthday.  Usually not hung up on age, I’ll admit to not being thrilled this year.  As of today, it is no longer mathematically possible to divide the decade and remain in the mid-range of my thirties.  This realization made me feel old, until an incident last week in an undergraduate Corporate Communications Course that I was teaching put it all back into perspective. Continue reading »

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