The Magic of Mastering French
How do you define mastery? In language you might be tempted to say fluency, but last night I experienced a more magical moment of mastery.
If like me you struggle with languages, the very first time you were actually understood by a stranger while traveling and trying to use your high school Spanish, French or German, it might have felt like complete mastery to you. The beauty of mastery, is that you get to define your own success, individually.
I started studying French in high school and have taken lessons on and off for years. Especially just before our wedding in France, the way couples take dance lessons just for their first dance. Making my speech in French at our wedding was another big step along the way, especially since I was meeting most of the French guests for the first time. I hate to admit that for the past few years just getting by and surviving the “French Only Spoken Here” house rule during week long visits at my in-laws is the level I reached and where I lazily plateaued.
Last summer while applying for the kids’ French passports at the Consulate in Amsterdam, my husband inquired about applying for me as well. We knew I met the requirements based on the length of our marriage and year of our son’s birth, but we also knew that because we lived outside of France, there would be a French language “requirement”. Merde, I was nervous! Infinitely easier to talk on subjects of my choice rather than answer questions, I took a proactive approach and started speaking very rapidly when we met with the official.
I explained that while my French wasn’t fluent, I did my best with my parents in law and always improved after a few days in France. I told him I would be very appreciative if he didn’t mind sticking to my favorite subjects of French wine, Champagne, fromage and handbags. The official broke into a big smile and confirmed that indeed my French might not be fluent, but it was absolutely charming and he declared that it would do. I was beaming with pride! Everyone knows the French value style over substance, so I felt that charming was a great compliment, definitely trumping mere fluency!
During the past school year I challenged myself to speak with my son’s teacher in French more often because I really appreciate her and she lights up when I make the effort. (I even admitted that I demanded to know from my son which class rule he had broken, when she sent a note home about it; turned out that he had broken his ruler and needed a replacement.)
This week I passed another milestone worth celebrating on my path to mastery. My husband deposited me and the kids at his parents in Brittany and left for the week. I survived, on my own, without the buffer/translator, and without any pillow talk in English after dark!
Upon my husband’s return last night, the magical moment happened. His mother asked me to recount a story I had told her the day before about a family I encountered on my bike ride along the canal. I told her how cute it was to see this Dad and small kids vacationing and traveling by bike. My reaction turned to horror when I passed the mother a few minutes later with ALL the rest of the kids; too many to count as each parent had babies in bike trailers too! As I retold the story, she laughed so hard she cried. This is a woman I have never seen cry and only occasionally laugh. It was a rare and spendid sight.
My French is far from fluent, I still try to rephrase everything to fit in my two favorite tenses; passé composé and future proche, and I know with certainty that sometimes what I say ends up sounding like, “They is hungry yesterday.” But the ability to express yourself, connect with someone, be truly understood, and move them to laugh or to cry, or both at the same time is the ultimate. This is the magic of mastering French.
Filed under Adventure, Just Life | Comment (1)
Search team fails to rescue Abby Sunderland from her own selfish attitude
16 year old American Abby Sunderland’s sailboat yacht went missing in the Indian Ocean during her attempt to break the record for youngest to sail solo, unassisted around the world. How could anyone be surprised by this? Regardless of her age or gender, the Indian Ocean is treacherous for any experienced sailor, especially during the current winter weather conditions.
The family posted this message on Abby’s blog about the massive search effort in progress:
“We are working closely with American, French and Australian Search & Rescue authorities to coordinate several ships in the area to divert to her location. There are several ships in her area, the earliest possible contact is 40 hours. We are actively seeking out some sort of air rescue but this is difficult due to the remoteness of her location. Australian Search & Rescue have arranged to have a Quantas Airbus fly over her location at first light (she is 11 hours later). They will not be able to help her other than to talk via marine radio if they are able to get close enough. Hopefully, they will be able to assess her situation and report back to us.”
Marianne and Team Abby
Early on the morning she was spotted by a Quantas Jet sent to search for her, the Australian government announced that they will not seek reimbursement for the extensive rescue costs.
Now Abby has been rescued by the fishing vessel Ile de la Reunion and in the process the Captain of the fishing boat fell in and had to be rescued himself in dangerous conditions.
According to the New York Times, Abby’s father, Laurence Sunderland in an interview on “The Early Show” on CBS, Mr. Sunderland praised his daughter’s skills as a sailor. He said he not only would let her try the voyage again, but would also “absolutely endorse that wholeheartedly.”
A new storm is brewing as the Sunderland Family not only go on the defensive about their decisions and actions; they are on the offensive attacking every bit of criticism.
Now is the moment for Abby Sunderland and the rest of the Sunderland family to turn to the heroes who risked their lives to save Abby and simply say thank you and then shut up. Stop being selfish for once.
But no, stubbornness prevails. Abby updated her blog from the fishing vessel, where she complains about having to use a french keyboard and then goes straight into how unfair it is of the press to pounce on her because of her age. This initial post is all about her, not a single word of gratitude. This speaks volumes of her maturity level, how dare anyone have questioned it?
My original interest in this story was related to the rescue costs, based on my firm belief that constraints and consequences are both important drivers of behavior. If she, or the next one who comes along to break the record, hasn’t raised enough money to cover costs of a possible rescue; then it should be a no go. (It was quite admirable that the American sailing Association rejected her sponsorship request due to their risk assessment.) Merely wanting to do the trip, should not be enough.
The problem with the existence this record of “youngest” is obviously that the obsession with beating it will continue to bring the age down to, what? Abby’s mother is reportedly pregnant with her eighth child. We can only hope that the newborn baby will not be involved in a sailing stunt in the very near future.
Filed under Adventure, In the news | Comments (8)
You have just one day, do you dive in?
Short on time? Cash? Vacation days? All of the above? At various stages in our lives, different constraints drive our decision making, especially when it comes to travel and leisure.
Backpacking is the favorite cheap travel option for students while whirlwind tours are popular with Americans, who average only 2 weeks of vacation time off work each year versus the 5 week European average.
Personally, at this moment, alone time and alone-together time (kid free) are scarce! Our soon to be three year old daughter is a handful! We knew we could only get away with leaving the kids for one night with my parents- in- law while visiting them in France. Without asking first (too risky), we booked one night in a hotel on Belle Ile, an island just off the south coast of Brittany. My first recommendation; if you have only one day to get away, you can’t go wrong choosing a destination with a name like “Beautiful Island”.
When it’s just for one day, do you make choices differently too? One extreme or the other? On a recent overnight in Amsterdam at the trendy V Hotel, I knowingly booked the “sous-terrain” room because it was just for a night. Let’s call it like it is; a tiny basement room featuring a typical, small basement window with a view of the basement window of the adjacent building. It was fine, but just for one night…
On Belle Ile we went the other direction entirely. Selected the most luxurious hotel; and why not upgrade to a beautiful sea view room with a balcony, since it is just for one night? We left our car parked on the mainland and rented a very special and totally impractical buggy. It had no doors or windows or space for luggage, but how often do you get to rent a car that has a smiley face?
Thalasso treatments; why not book one in the evening and one in the morning, my husband shockingly suggested. You bet I earned those treatments after being dragged around the admittedly beautiful rocky coastline to see every jagged rock and cliff all in one afternoon. When we decided to go for a dip before dinner and discovered the indoor pool had just closed, we sneaked in anyway! It was, after all, our only chance to enjoy it. Fine dining on the freshest local products at the hotel’s restaurant? Bon appetit!
I am not a morning person, but I found myself wanting to get up early, set the alarm even, to have extra time to relax, huh? The time constraint did put some pressure on us, but we packed so much into our 29 hours on Belle Ile that is seemed as if we had been away much longer and we felt refreshed, exhausted and inspired all at the same time.
In the morning came the moment of truth (besides the bill). After one Abhyanga massage “for her” and one hike “for him”, we walked out to the terrace in our robes. We had seen one crazy woman swimming in the outdoor pool when we arrived the day before. Soon it would be time for us to check out and go explore the other side of the island. The sun was shinning, but the temperature was barely 12 degrees, (53 F). Without much hesitation, we dropped our robes and dove right in! It was divine and we laughed at the poor saps we could see inside on treadmills as we splashed and swam in the sunshine.
You have this day, just one day. Do you take the plunge?
Bike Stampede at the Bijenkorf
Second Easter Day is (boring but true) the official name for Easter Monday, a National Holiday here in the Netherlands and across Europe. In the past, only furniture stores were open, but in the last year or two, Supermarkets and Department stores in the bigger Dutch cities started opening too.
There is no tradition of a big blow-out shopping day on the Second Easter Day, but de Bijenkorf, the Dutch high-end department store chain, has set out to stimulate one! Bijenkorf launched a week long shopping event called Maffe Marathon, which featured a “Giveaway” of 100 special Bijenkorf branded bikes to the first customers to spend 200 euro in each open location (Amsterdam, Den Haag, Rotterdam, Maastricht).
This morning we arrived at Bijenkorf in The Hague just past 11.30 and joined the crowd in front of one of three entrances. Approximately 20 people were ahead of us, but the crowd swelled as the clock ticked toward noon. Luckily, from a personal safety perspective, they were “giving” away bikes, not cars, but with the crush of the crowd as the doors opened, it was no place for small children (though some parents clearly did not think this through).
My husband wondered aloud,”What the hell am I doing here?” But he too got caught up in the sport and excitement of it all. We chose Champagne as our quick purchase item, based both on their good selection and the proximity to the entrance on the ground floor. We raced through the revolving doors and pointed to a special Moet & Chandon gift set of 229 euros locked behind glass (not recommended in a race, but my husband is French, so he can’t help it)! We then ran through the chaos to the back of the store where the crowd reconvened. Our receipt was stamped and claim number 70 was ours! Yeah! Less than 10 minutes after the doors opened, it was all over. The announcement came that all 100 bikes had been claimed.
As you can see from the photo, we were thrilled! I proudly rode my new neon green bike home and my husband added the Champagne to our collection! No, we would not have otherwise gone to spend more than 200 euros specifically at the Bijenkorf today. This was a very successful stunt for Bijenkorf. I did feel guilty running past a young girl in a wheel chair to claim my bike, but she seemed determined to make it on her own, so who am I to interfere? Luckily, as far as I know there were no injuries.
Bijenkorf made sales of approximately 160,000 euros in 10 minutes this morning across their four participating locations and created a flury of excitement and traffic in their stores that carried over throughout the day. What can you do to get people this excited about your business? Are they lining up to buy from you?
Filed under Adventure, Just for fun | Comments (7)
